Top 5 Things A Capitalist Should Tell A Socialist

As more Bernie Sanders fans crawl out from the woodwork, its crucial that free marketeers be armed and ready to fight the socialists with the truth of liberty and personal freedom.

When arguing with a socialist, its important to listen, smile, nod, pet their pretty little heads every once in a while, but to ultimately not to put up with any of their authoritarian b.s. and to have talking points ready to fire back at their pretty little tyrannical faces. Here are 5 of those potential talking points:

1. Your iPhone was made by a corporation

Isn’t the free market just terrible? Steve Jobs was a person. That person created Apple. Apple is a corporation. And that evil, greedy corporation created the iPhone that all socialists want to burn, but can’t because they love their Instagram pics just a little too much. They’ll still tweet about how much they hate capitalism from their tablet devices brought to them by… capitalism.

2. Conservatives donate more to charity than democrats do

In 2004, the reddest states that voted more than 60 percent majorities for George W. Bush donated 3.5 more to charity than residents of blue states. Arthur Brooks conducted a study also in 2004 on the issue of political ideology as it pertains to giving, and discovered that conservative are about 17 percent more likely than their liberal counterparts to donate blood. We bleed for the poor, okay? The same study states that conservative families donate 30 percent more money per year to private charitable causes than liberal families. But we should tax that money instead, right? More roads!

3. Capitalism has lifted 1 billion out of extreme poverty in the last 20 years

In an article in The Economist, 2013 Edition, its says that between 1990 and 2010, the number of people living in extreme poverty fell by half, as the total population in developing countries living in extreme poverty fell from 43% to 21%- a reduction of almost 1 billion people. Repeat: within 20 of the most innovative years in the 20-21st centuries, 1 billion people were pulled out of extreme poverty. Credit to capitalism? When there are more companies selling, competing with each other’s prices, employing more people, fewer people starve.

4. Socialism requires changing human nature

Socialism goes against man’s instinctual desire to earn what they are given. “From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs,” is the famous quote from Karl Marx that is at the heart of communism and socialism. Describing how, in a communist society, land, industry, labour and wealth would be shared between all people, and that one man does not have individual rights to his property. You like your skinny jeans? Well sorry, just like your doctor, you can’t keep them because someone else deserves them more. And now you’re left pant-less and hungry without your iPhone, all thanks to socialism.

5. You could make a joke about not having toilet paper, but now people in socialist countries don’t even have food to eat, to poop, in order to wipe

In Venezuela, a country that has been victim to socialist “Chavista” rule for the past 16 years, people stand for hours in lines just to get their ration of food at the grocery market. Toilet paper has been of the most critical supplies on extreme shortage in the country. One roll of toilet paper on the black market costs 110 bolivares [$0.50] for a roll that usually costs 17 bolivares [$ 0.08] in the supermarket. But now, people aren’t only being forced to live a shitty life without toilet paper, the government is asking for the people’s food! The AP reported that now government officials in Venezuela are asking for 30 percent and 100 percent of producers good to help supply government-controlled stores. Maybe if they don’t give the people as much food, they won’t poop as much, and that sounds like a logical policy fix for the toilet paper crisis. #Socialists.

Thelibertarianrepublic.com